Thursday, August 7, 2008

Fat & Slow vs. Skinny & Fast

Last night I went with a new mountain bike buddy, Rick, out to Lake Ahquabi to do some recon for his race there on Sunday. Rick is relatively new to the mountain biking scene but he has taken to it like a duck to water. He finished 2nd in his first race at the steep and technical 7 Oaks course outside of Boone. You can read more about the Ahquabi ride and his race here.

He hadn't ridden out there before so I showed him the big hill fat people have trouble climbing. We got to the top and he was all-like "yeah, that's a pretty big hill", but he didn't have the common decency to be red in the face and out of breath like yours truly. Some people, I swear.

On the second lap Rick said he wanted to pick up the pace to somewhat simulate a race. I said, "sure" but the extra 50 pounds I carry around over Skinny said, "you know, I'd rather not." Rather quickly my girthyness lost ground to his thinitude. If he hadn't been so far ahead of me I could've shown him how to avoid crashing in the mud by giving an example of how to crash in the mud.

Oh well, his loss.

Okay, I didn't go down right in the mud, luckily (?) I flew past it in mid air. There were several muddy patches along the way with almost all of them having a relatively dry path around or through them. One patch, however, had its path run out about halfway through where you were confronted with a decision to hop over a little log that was angled in the mud or go around it. The first time around I quite adeptly hopped right over the log. Swoosh, smooth baby. I'm Batman........

The second time around - you know, I can't tell you why I would even consider anything other than a hop - I was going faster and decided to go around the log, then realized the mud was really deep over there and changed my mind (note: never change your mind) and instead tried to hop the log. This time my front tire came down on the log, washed out from under me and that was that. "Breaker, breaker this is Gotham City dispatch. Be advised, Batman is down. I repeat, Batman is down."

As sad as it was, you can't keep the Caped Crusader down for long. I hopped back on my rig and peddled off. We can't keep Skinny waiting now can we? When I rolled up Slim asked me if I had gone down again. I smiled and said, "no, why?" Maybe it was the head-to-toe dirt strip I had on my right side that had him wondering.
The rest of the ride went off without a hitch, but I think I might need a new bike. I keep falling off this one for no particular reason (other than the laws of physics). Since it can't be me, there must be a malfunction of some kind with the bike. I looked for a reset button, but couldn't find one, must be time for something new (but don't tell Jackie).


Buckshot77 said...

Thanks for a good chuckle this morning. Somehow I don't think I'll ever classify myself as skinny, but as we discussed, it's all relative. I also think going cross-eyed at Boone on Sunday helped me get a little perspective on what I consider a nasty hill...

Jackie said...

Another Bike????