Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Performance Evaluations By Kitty

I have this cat, I call her Kitty.

That's not her name, but that is what I call her.

We have a love-hate relationship. I evicted her once, it lasted maybe 3 weeks. Sending her to the Sister-in-Law's wasn't far enough away, I know that now.

She got reinstated under questionable circumstances. It seems there was a loophole in the eviction proceedings…

It’s a long story.

These days her and I are finding ways to co-exist. They mostly involve me tolerating her.

My daughters split the chore of cleaning out the litter box. Collectively, their job performance needs improvement.

When the box isn't up to code Kitty gives them feedback in the form of peeing in highly directed and strategic locations - in their room, right outside their door, in their bed…one morning she even left a little nugget on their bathroom floor.

You see, when Kitty’s initial feedback isn’t received she literally gave them a “hey, check this sh#t out” statement.

This has happened before, Kitty doesn't deviate from her M.O.

If job performance doesn’t improve to her standards, or according to her schedule, Kitty ups the ante and gets Mom and Dad involved. She knows she will see some action then. I think of it as her saying to the kids “I need to speak to your supervisor”.

Sometimes she will pee in our bed, and it is just as charming as it sounds. Yesterday she peed on Mom's sweatshirt, while it was on the bathroom floor.

This morning, when ironing my work pants, I noticed a strange smell emanating from them. Apparently, Kitty went straight to the top and messaged Dad. At first I thought she peed directly on my pants, along with a lot of other clean clothes in the laundry basket.


She peed on the ironing board itself.


Its like she said, “what will mess with them the most?....”







Buckshot77 said...

Thanks! I needed a laugh. Our cats also leave feedback about the litter box.

Phil Kabrick said...

Whats that saying about more than one way to skin a cat?

Anonymous said...

Chances are excellent that your cat is ill. Her messages are really asking you to please take her to the vet. Please.

Brian said...

Not sick.

Evil and unsatisfied.

Now that the chunky undercoating the kids leave in the box is gone, Kitty is fine again.

She doesn't seem to age either, doesn't look or act one day older than when we got her 7ish years ago.

Do not cross Kitty, she may be immortal.