Thursday, October 28, 2010

Where's my Bejesus?

So many things to be scared of, so little time......ah, uhm, so little time....time, no time, we're running out of time....I knew it, we're all gunna die!!!!!

Ok, sorry. Composure returning in T minus 3, 2, 1...

So many things

There's:

Terrorists
Ghosts
Certain side effects of Levitra that last more than 4 hours
Aliens
Gingivitis
Zombies
Horses (one day they will collectively decide - no more rides, we revolt!)
Mice
Nuns
Priests (especially Priests)
Robots
Last Call (you don't haveta go home, but you can't stay here)
Darkness
Nukes
Peanuts
Mold
Cereal Killers (why do they hate sugary puffs so much?)
Toyotas
Progressives
Carbs
Super Volcanoes
Gangstas
Dentists (especially the 5th one....4 outta 5 agree, what's with that 5th one?)
Asteroids
Sharks (they've already got a week, what's next?)
Fear itself
Pollen
Tardive Dyskinesia (think Ozzy)
Wives
2012
Klondike Bars (what would you do for one? What?!)
Solar Radiation
Hillbillies (ask Ned Beatty)
Y2K (errrrr, nevermind)
Microbes
Bears
Glen Beck (tear, sniff, sniff, buy gold)
Mummies
Cooked fruit
Light Beer
Bone loss
Dirty bombs
Clean bombs
Keepin' it real
Cellphones
Razor blades (particularly the intrafruit variety)
Mines
Taliban Monkeys
Fibromyalgia
Tornadoes (especially flaming ones)
Cavity Searches
Bob Seger (run for your lives, we're overrun by cheezy tavern rock!)
Dolls
Obama
Shrinkage
Spiders (oh, frickin spiders)
Nazis
Sudden Cheerleader Shortage
Heights
Pluto (first you're a planet, then you're not...what are you hiding Pluto?!)
Snookie
Kettlebells
Micheal Myers (the Halloween one, not the Austin Powers one)
Earthquakes
Granny Panties
Tobacco
Pandemics of any kind
Snipers
Mentos + soda
Adult onset anything
Owls
Snakes
Fire (especially spontaneous combustion)
Water
and the worst of all......clowns

Pennywise, Insane Clown Posse, John Wayne Gacy

I think that's everything....but I could be forgetting something......oh crap!

Alzhiemers.

No comments: