The Porridge Imperative

For years Goldilocks was content to ride her good ole’ 26 inch wheeled mountain bike. Things were awfully fine in the forest as she happily whizzed down the trails, nearly impervious to roots, rocks, logs and (of course) bears. With such sheer contentment there was nary any reason to change anything about her bike.

Then one day Goldy heard about these new bikes with fancy 29 inch wheels. Talk from the forest folk was that bigger wheels magically smoothed out trail nasties and eased the climbing of troublesome hills. Golly, to Goldy, it sounded too good to be true.

As we all know from the well-documented porridge incident Goldy has this deal about self control, particularly pertaining to the next best bike thing, so it was no surprise when one (or more) of those fancy bikes found its way into her stable.

And so, she was pleased. For once upon a time the porridge had actually lived up to the hype. Goldy gleefully bounded down the trail on her rad new hoops. Bears to could only stare in wonderment as she bunny hopped over them and sketched ill tricks off their snouts.



All was well again in the forest until one day Goldy made another startling discovery, there’s a size in between the 26er and 29er. What? A new mythical beast lives that in the sweet spot in between wheel sizes. It has all the powers of a 26’ and 29’ bikes….combined.

It’s called a 650B – ah, huh, what?

Oh Goldy, that’s just some Euro sheik way of saying the wheels are 27.5 inches around.

Clearly bound by the porridge imperative, Goldy embarked on a quest to add this 650Beast to her stable. It was new, so it must be better. Much to her dismay the forest dwellers were largely unsupportive. Haters emerged from hollowed out tree stumps, “Silly girl, you don’t need that.” they said. “You wanna whaaaaat?” the boo birds chirped. Even the bikesmiths themselves had yet to forge a fair amount of frames, forks, wheels and tires to fit the beast. Undaunted, Goldy soldiered on. If she couldn’t buy it, she’d build it. She liked that better anyway, rolling custom. She tirelessly researched this part and that bit, it was like a puzzle and Goldy has always liked puzzles.

She eventually arrived at Ole Blue, a stunning bit of British steel mated to the highest quality wheelset she has ever owned. Goldy has only been out on a couple rides so far, but she is quite pleased with the carvability (meaning able to carve) of the slightly smaller hoops in the tight, twisty track that populates the Midwest (when its not under water).









Bears beware.