New Crew Member for Gnome Fest

Because everybody needs somebody, I thought our resident Gnome, Billy



could use a little company at da Fest.

Through the miracle of Ebay, enter Jerry:



This is what Ebay had to say about him:

NEW Farting Gnome Sassy Novelty for Garden Yard

He looks cute enough, but when you pass by this Farting Gnome lets out unexpected gassy explosions along with a series of several seam-splitting comments sure to stun his victims. Hidden motion sensor is sure to surprise all that cross his path. Durable PVC. 11" Tall. Uses 2 AA batteries, not included.

Now, how was I supposed to resist that? I mean REAL-LY.

There's a little back story to choosing the name Jerry. My pal Joel used to call all his friends (so it wasn't a big problem) either Billy, lil Billy, Jerry or maybe Captain or Cap. He said it was to simplify things. Truth is it amused him in a way only your own little asinine joke can. He'd call me, say "Hey, Billy." I eventually learned to reply "What's up Jerry?". We still play this game from time to time. I used to try thinking up other names to call him, usually something feminine. (Ring) "What's up Jerry?" (sometimes he'd switch it up on you) "Not much Lilly.......Tomlin". Ah, the things you do to amuse yourself....


...like buy a farting gnome.

Green Lantern and a Wolverine

After taking the dog out to Banner for a hike on Sunday I had to get back out there on the bike.

I also had a new mojo, the Green Lantern, to test out. He is more formal than Fez (my single speed mojo). For example, he insists on calling me "Citizen". "The trail looks clear, Citizen." Thanks superhero dude.



Green did his job admirably early in the ride, stopping me moments before I destroyed my headphones. I haven't been doing much solo riding this year, so I completely forgot I'd hooked my iPod up but didn't put the headphones in my ears. About 30 yards into the trail it felt like a vine grabbed me from behind, when I looked back this is what I saw.



They are a wrap around design, just not wrap around your cassette. It is amazing I didn't cut or nick the cord or chew up the earbuds. They did need a little reshaping, but all things considered I got off easy. " Your headphones are now safe! Onward with easy listening, Citizen!" Uhm, yeah....thanks dude. We're going to have to work on his demeanor.



Banner's north side was in great shape and Riverside wasn't too bad. The big bridge is back. I don't really know how, but its back.



It reminded me of Richard Chamberlin's shipwreck in Shogun.



I don't know why I thought of the old TV mini-series based on James Clavill's book, but it did. I remember watching it in elementary school and wanting to be a Samuari, bad. Me and the rest of the boys would battle (BONZAI!) with sticks during recess for the sake of Bushido. I should watch that show again to see if it stands the test of time.

On my 2nd of 3 laps I had the misfortune of encountering a wolverine heading in the opposite direction. No not this kind:



this kind:



A serious disagreement about trail right-of-way ensued. Unfortunately, for us both, it escalated to a throw down. Wolverines are tough customers so blood was spilt, but he finally succumbed to reason, along with upper cuts and left hooks.

At least that's how I think it went down....It was either that or I ran into this bunch of roughly broken off tree limbs that were hidden by the light/shade shadows and obscured by the low hanging branch...either way, I won (kinda, sorta, but not really).



Minor arm carnage.

Stupid wolverines.

High Trestle and Trail Dog

Nick and I rode the Ankeny to Woodward (A2W) trail on Saturday. I guess its recently been renamed the High Trestle Trail for obvious reasons.

Its smooth pavement, complete with paved dirt road crossings all the way to the yet to be completed trestle bridge right outside Woodward. When its done (2010) this bridge is really gonna be something; 13 stories high, with an impressive view.

It was so nice with temps in the 70s that we decided to explore part of the Heart of Iowa Nature Trail too (Slater to Cambridge). This section was well manicured crushed rock and dirt path along with some brief chipseal pavement and some road, perfect for a cyclocross bike. After Cambridge it is "undeveloped". I'm going to have to check that out some time.

All together we rode just over 62 miles.

Sunday I took Trail Dog (aka Captain) out on a hike at Banner. I was wondering how overgrown the north trail would be, but it was not bad at all. It looks like its getting a fair amount of riding. It was a little rough on the ole pooch since we hadn't been out of awhile. I'll have to remember next time to ramp up to a place like Banner. You can almost see his butt dragging...

We still had a good time.