Friday, February 6, 2009

Brian Vs. Volcano, Part IV

And so it comes down to this, the final bit. The story began with an untimely storm, botched plans and a chance meeting with a colorful guide. It ends with this - (hope its not too anti-climatic).

When we finally emerged from the mess of Mamane we found ourselves on upper Waipoli Road, the asphalt seemed out of place high on the green shoulders of the volcano. Aa’Ron said we would have to transverse a ways before descending again. Riding the tank-of-a-bike, even with a gentle grade, at 6000-7000 feet was a challenge for this rider, but the views were spectacular.







These pictures were "lifted" from here. During this part of the ride Aa’Ron got a call from one of his buds. They discussed catching some waves later but ultimately decided the water was “too sharky” from all the storms. I explained to him that where I come from we don’t put a "y" on the end of “shark” to form an adjective, we just don’t do that. I asked if he ever had a close call and he said, “a few times, when spearfishing.”



I was all-like “Yeah, its like this one time when I caught a Bullhead; when I went to take the hook out of his mouth he got me in the finger with one of his spines. Yeah, it hurt pretty bad so I said @#$ it and jetted to Indo.”



Lower Wapoli was great; serpentine blacktop slithering its way down the volcano’s approaches. We hairpined our way around several turns until dirt cut-throughs started to appear. These paths would leave the road above and dive down the steep bank to the road below. Many of them were severely rutted from the afore mentioned torrents. Aa’Ron took full advantage of them sailing off the road, Mountain Dew Extreme style, and smoothly emerging back on the pavement below.

This is not Aa'Ron (sadly I have no pictures of him), but it did look a little like this:



His XGames were building my confidence; gradually I tried a few of the mini downhill runs. After a couple I hit one that was suddenly deeply rutted. I navigated it successfully and got a nice jolt of adrenaline as my reward. A couple runs later the path sank sharply right at the road. “I’m dead” I thought as my front tire hit the unseen rut. I thought for sure I was going over the handlebars, face first unto the pavement. Instead the long, doublecrown suspension fork just soaked up the whole ditch and I popped out on the road just like I knew what I was doing. It probably looked ok, but I felt like I had just pulled off something closer to this:




The road gradually uncoiled and began meandering through hills of deep nearly-neon green prairie grass.



Here we passed some people paragliding - running and launching themselves off the hill to float down strapped under what is essentially a paper airplane. Some people are nuts (irony intentional).

Aa’Ron stopped at this spot that overlooked an open stretch of field. The whole trip down he had goggles strapped around his helmet, but had them flipped around facing behind him (as if he were watching me). At this point he spun the goggles around secured them around his eyes and said, “Right Dude, this field is a blast super fast. You’ll probably get a lot of splatter so don’t follow me too close. Oh, and watch out for big chunks of lava hidden in the tall grass – Ok? Let’s GO!”



SWOOSH, Frisbee again.

I thought, “I’m almost all the way down this mutha and I now I going to die.” I frisbeed off after him. Immediately muddy water started to splatter my face, the grass was coated in a dirty dew. We gained speed quickly, surfing the grassy waves. I was concentrating intently, but I didn’t see any lava chunks. Suddenly a two foot high craggy mass of red passed on the left. Next I came straight up on a smaller, flatter patch of red death. I did what Bodie said and let the bike do the work. It was like riding an overstuffed pillah (that's a "pillow" only better), smooth, soft, nice.

We regrouped back on the road. Aa’Ron looked at me and said “You’re not too slow for being an XC guy.” That might be the best compliment I’ve ever gotten on the bike. He said, “Straight up Bro, this is the last bit. There’s free range cows that roam this part of the road and the fields, so watch out for them.” Cows, on a volcano in Hawaii……why not? Sure enough, we rolled through a couple more fields and there were the ole’ Bessies all over the place.



Aa’Ron rolled straight through them like he was negotiating a holiday shopping crowd at the mall. I think he communes with nature or something. A cow mooed, Aa’Ron did a kickout trick.

We arrived at the park where the Ladies were meeting me. I think Jackie has never been so happy to see me alive. Aa’Ron said, “You didn’t really even need me I guess.” Oh stop – you, with the compliments, just stop. Wait, could you say that again, when my wife is closer and can hear you?

We piled into our rental cars, my adventure si fini. I was feeling an odd concoction of satisfaction, pride, physical and mental fatigue, but some disappointment (because Mamane was toast). Mostly I was appreciative that I had the opportunity to do something pretty unique, especially for a Midwestern mountain biker. I was especially grateful that the Ladies had patience (if not understanding) with my quest. I was a lucky dog, and I had finally earned that shirt.

I was going to leave you with a helmet cam vid from webernet legend Pete Fagerlin, but it wouldn't load. Instead you will have to go here and watch it from his site. Its the second picture on the page with the 67mb by it. I also embedded this youtube vid which isn't as good quality as Pete's, but you get the basic idea.



Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Brian Versus the Volcano, Part III

And now - Part III (to have the proper context you really should read Parts I and II first - don't go skipping ahead)

When we left off Aa'Ron, or "Bodie" as I have taken to calling him for this tale, had led a clandestine mission to get us to the Skyline trailhead....





When we got a little ways down Skyline we stopped to regroup and Aa’Ron gave me the 411. “Alright Dude, this bike is righteous, just point it where you want to go and let it do the work, ride the wave Bro. Watch out for little boulders and be careful, it will probably be pretty rutted out……Oh, and don’t forget to keep your speed up through the switchbacks or your tire will sink in the loose rock and you’ll go down. Alright Bro? Cool, let’s GO!”. And SWOOSH he was off like an expertly thrown Frisbee.



I thought I better stay somewhat close to him so I could benefit from his lines, so that’s what I did. We rocketed down that crushed lava road. It was rutted, just like he said. A couple of times his bike kicked up a little chunk of lava that tinked off my loaner full-face helmet. I was sorta scarred to death, sorta exhilarated and all concentrated.

This is Skyline but the rider is not me, I had to "borrow" several pictures off the web due to a camera snafu I'll get to in a minute.



Early in the descent I smacked my foot on a big rock; “that hurt” and “watch the boulders” I thought to myself. We had navigated 5 or 6 switchbacks when a particularly steep and tight one appeared. I did exactly what he said not to do and slowed way down in the corner. The bike did exactly what he said it would do and the front tire plowed into loose rock and I went down. I hit pretty hard but was able to roll off my shoulder for a crash score that was high in technical merit and artistic interpretation. I had some knee/shin pads on under some running pants, but one side had slid down and I (of course) took a good part of the fall on that knee. When Aa’Ron rolled up I told him I was all-good, we rested a minute or two and sailed off again.

Again, not me.



One of many swtichbacks, taken looking back from afar.



A little bit down the road Aa'Ron spotted a lookout spot high above us. He was bummed at having missed the turn to ride up there because “the descent is a blast”. I can only assume he meant the craggy jagged rock path directly above me. "Damn" I said, when in truth I was glad we missed the turn off. We hiked up to the spot to take a picture. It was then I realized that in all the covert operations at the summit I left my camera in my heavy coat. I had to settle for a couple of lame cell phone pictures.

Me, in the only photographic evidence of the adventure. Terrible picture, but sweet "hang loose" hand signal. I'm so original.



On down the mountain we sailed until coming to the Mamane trailhead. Finally, some XC style singletrack I can sink my teeth into. I thought this was where the real fun was going to start.

Wrong.

Winds and rain had devastated the trail. Only a few hundred feet into it the trail suddenly dropped into narrow ruts, three foot deep. The bikes sunk into them up to the seat. Since these were 40 pound rigs it was easier to pull your feet up and “surf” the bike down these channels than to try and heft them outta there. It was wild. I would have rather been actually riding, but I can’t say this wasn’t still pretty fun.

This is what Mamane looks like relatively healthy. It had quite the storm hangover the day I was there.



About a quarter mile in the downed trees came; one giant redwood after another (yes, redwoods in Hawaii), sometimes stacked in every direction like God dropped his box of matchsticks right on Mamane. We conjured up a substantial hike-a-bike effort, scaling these bark and pineneedle monoliths with 40 lbs of I-wanna-go-fast bike in tow. It was exhausting but strangely satisfying.

Along the way we came upon a lava tube, which is essentially a little cave. Aa’Ron said I could go down into it if I wanted, but he was gonna pass. “Huna” he said. “Ancient spirits of Hawaiians man, they used to bury people in these places.” I passed on the cave exploration, no need to irritate ancient Hawaiian spirits in my current situation.

Next time: the fourth and final installment of B v.Volcano.

Monday, February 2, 2009

The El Gordo Gauntlet

We interrupt this broadcast of Brian Versus the Volcano for a special announcement.

I've been challenged. My friend Nick emails me one day out of the blue to say,"Hey, you're more of a lazy, fat toad than I am and I can prove it."

I kid.

He actually recounted a couple of conversations we've had about all these skinnyfit guys we bike with and how much easier it would be to keep up if we dropped some poundage.

Nick suggested that we blog our weight loss goals and exercise over the next several months in the hopes that going public will be the bit of motivation that puts us over the top.

When I accepted the challenge I figured I'd let Nick take the lead on how detailed we get. He went full monte, posting up the poundage number and everything. Great. I've spent the last decade perfecting the art of shirt tucking and elastic pant wearing just so I could try and hide my number (didn't work anyway)....so, here it is.

211

My end goal is probably 175. An intermediate goal is to be under 200 by my Womble trip 3-26. I want to be done by the end of May. That's may be a big stretch, but that is what its all about.

I've actually been back on the bandwagon since November, so I have a running start on the challenge, having dropped somewhere around 5-8 pounds since the holidays. I typically lose VERY slowly because I apparently have the metabolism of a tortise.

I am weightlifting 3 times a week, playing basketball 1-2 per week and do a mix of running, hiking, biking, heavybag (boxing) and some yoga. I'll do some more detail on my exercise in future posts. I will be updating this every Monday. This week I did very well, until I got to the weekend (oops).

For those of you (Jill and Denise) patiently waiting for Bri v. Volcano Part III, we will be returning to our regularly scheduled programming by mid-week. Hang in there.